Restabilize your life

To better navigate the paradox and polarisation we are all increasingly experience in daily life

The merry month of May, when much blossoms and heralds the arrival of summer, lazy, hazy days of rest, harvest and celebration. It follows April, the cruellest month. This year, for me, it really was. All change on the home front with my husband of almost twenty years no longer wanting a partner dedicated to the expansion of consciousness in her own life and through her work. It’s a price we often have to pay for choosing to not put domesticity, safety and belonging at the centre of our lives.

So May is bringing a certain lightness in days that sometimes feel unbelievably heavy. There is of course a kind of relief in accepting what is, being grateful for and celebrating what has been, letting whom we care about go if that is what they choose for themselves. A freshness in taking the drama out of the crisis, reframing it as an opportunity for our own deep transformation. A new breeze of energy and life that blows into the spaces which appear when we sort out the trappings of a shared life and leave behind what we don’t need anymore. An honesty and freedom in the setting - and respecting - of boundaries for the new versions of ourselves that are beginning to emerge.

‘Soul contracts’ may not be an expression that many of us use or have even heard of. We may not relate either to the idea or experience of our soul. But if we are interested in personal growth, it’s likely that we’ve all passed through transitions in this life when we no longer fit where we were. Maybe it was us who grew and needed relationships to flex and embrace the new us, maybe it was our precious other. Perhaps we knew it was time to move on from a job that would not allow us to grow as we wished, or an organisation that could not offer opportunities for our advancement in a different role. Friendships that no longer hold much interest or affection, the empty nest when our parenting duties change to a more equal kind of interaction, our lives are full of transitions, large and small.

“There’s nothing so stable as change.”

Bob Dylan

Life is all about change, as much as we’d often like to keep ourselves safe from it. It asks us to continuously question ourselves, our values and beliefs, how we make sense of what we are facing. Then we need to examine who we bring of ourselves into those situations, because that will determine what is possible to talk about and do as a result. When we are closed, rigid, operating from a place of fear, the options narrow rapidly. My own experience right now is a real testament to that. I’m afraid too, but I’m not closing down to protect myself against perceived threats and paying a heavy price for it. Literally.

Change is only hard if we make it so, and inevitably we all do. I will be changing country, where I live, how I support myself, where I spend my free time and with whom, how I care for my aging mother who still lives alone, not to mention integrating the dissolution of a long-term intimate relationship that was once happy. If I hang onto that story, the experience sucks. And quite frankly it often does.

Or I can live the significant ‘breakdown’ as the ending of a soul contract, in other words, what two people came here to do in this lifetime from a more spiritual perspective. Once a soul contract is complete, there is only clearing and mopping up to be done in our daily lives. Our consciousness has already expanded, we are no more the people we once were. That growth may not manifest immediately in the everyday but we certainly cannot go backwards. The costumes no longer fit. Our energetic frequencies no longer match. Resonance and harmony quickly become the opposite.

2025 is already proving to be a year of great transformation in so many arenas around the world. Collective consciousness is expanding rapidly, old paradigms and systems breaking down. New ways of being and living together, narratives and technologies are breaking through, at breakneck speed. Change is ubiquitous, much of it wide-sweeping.

And it requires us to be stable, grounded, curious, open and willing to question everything. Not stable in the traditional sense of solid structures that can weather all but the fiercest of storms, but the experience of dynamic flow as life requires us to adapt. The shifting of cultural values and norms from the inside out as we begin to accept more widely that globalisation, capitalism and neoliberal democracy may no longer be the best ways to organise ourselves. I intend no politicisation in that statement, simply an observation that they are not sustainable going forwards.

Instead we are learning at scale to operate through the heart, a different kind of consciousness that needs little hierarchy or alliance to flourish. Taking care of ourselves, each other and the biosphere that sustains all of us so that all life can prosper, not just ourselves. Being willing to see through the eyes of people who think, feel and do very differently from us - hubby is a perfect example - where we may be treated ‘badly’ and grow to see those responses as grist to our own mill, or even medicine. Giving up our sense of being individual, separate, our free will. Experiencing deeply that we are part and parcel of many wholes, and in the expansion of our own and collective consciousness, we are all becoming ever more whole.

My creative partner Josselin and I are delighted to share our new online adventure where you will MEET essential practices for developing greater stability at your own pace. MEET has emerged from a year-long conversation where we have shared a multitude of stories about how our clients, and indeed we, have effectively brought about significant change in our lives and organisations. We have created Restabilize - our new organisation which will shortly take root in London - and MEET from basic regenerative principles:

🗺️ give ourselves the space to surface what is really going on

🧘 bring the most expanded versions of ourselves to the conversation

🙏 explore what is possible with what we have

👣 take the next good step

🎁 embody and share what we know

We’re also really excited to invite you to our new ‘Raise the vibe’ workshops - a half-day immersive experience to change your energy, because that is what helps to change your life! The first workshop is on 28 June from 1.30 - 5.30pm (BST) at the wonderful Jerwood Space near the Tate Modern in central London. It promises to be a fun, uplifting day that gives you a taste of what it means to restabilize your life. Please join us and share with your friends and family!

Thanks for reading.